I did as I was told - group post

The curve of my back as it arched off the mattress cast a shadow against the wall. You grabbed onto my hips and pulled me to the end of the bed. On your knees you ran your hands from my waist to my littlest toe before diving into the warmth waiting for you between my legs. A long slow moan escaped my lips. The same moan I had imagined in my mind over and over again. The anticipation I had for this moment could not match the actual feeling that was being played out between my legs.

What exactly you were doing to cause so much pleasure I can not say. The distinction between your tongue and his fingers, sucking, licking, rubbing, and playing all melding into a feeling I had never experienced before. The pleasure and the pressure built. I tried to hold onto the feeling, ride it out, enjoy it. I took one moment. A moment to look around me, to take it all in to remember everything. This was something I never wanted to forget.



I looked down at you, you were looking at me. Our eyes locked for a moment. Just when I couldn't stand it any longer you went back to driving me over the edge. My heels were driving into your back trying to urge you on, pushing you deeper. My hands were grasping for a hold, anything... all they could find was a pillow. I claw the pillow before I finally pull it over my face and moan loudly. The sound is guttural and animal like, it is the sound of a passion that has been caged for too long. I want to hold out, I don't want to cum yet. I want to feel, it has been so long since I have felt anything. But alas with you working my clit, and your fingers working everything else I am defenseless.

You bring me back to the moment by telling me to look at you. To cum for you. I pull the pillow aside and do as I am told.

This is part of a group post. Once a month we take a word or idea and run with it. The stories are always vastly different which is what makes this project that much more fun. I hope you enjoyed my story. It was fun to let my imagination run, and hubby enjoyed where it led my body to go after I wrote it *wink *double wink.

Because I wrote this Thursday night and scheduled it due to my out of town hunting trip I do not have the links for the others participating. Please head over to The Errant Wife, as I am sure Kimberly has everyone locked, I mean linked up. Have a good weekend. BFD

Somedays he will have to pay his debts - guest post

This is a blog post I received from an anonymous source. I received it with all of my other blog posts that I used while on vacation. At the last minute this person asked me to hold off, not to use it. So I filled the space with another post. I received an email this last week that said it was time to post this. So... here it is - lend an ear and a shoulder. I cut and paste and apologize for any typos I did not catch - when one writes with emotion it is hard to worry about misspellings and commas. I know my dear readers that all comments will be supportive and filled with understanding. As Always, BFD

I remember it oh so clearly. Of the ffew things in my childhood that recall this one has left an indelible mark on my psyche. I was 7 or 8. The age of my young son. I remember him he was older, a teenager, the son of one of my mom's friend. His name was Billy

Him: "Would you like to play a game?"

Me : "Yaaay Billy....I love games."

Him: OK we need to take off all our clothes

Me: OK

Him: Do you know what this is?

Me: That's a pee pee

Him: Ill touch your, but then you have to touch mine

me: Ummm..OK Billy won't we get in trouble?

Billy: Oh no its fun, bit is our secret ok?

Me: OK Billy

That's how it started. I remember him asking me to touch it, put my mouth on it. I admit I get a bit nauseas just writing this. It is a secret I have kept with me all my life. I have only told but a few people. This happened on more than one occasion. The lying naked, the touching the inappropriate conversations. As I try to recall the details of my emotions I know I did not know it was wrong. How could I at that point I didn't even understand what sex was. I remember feeling different, weird, like maybe we shouldn't be doing that, but at the time I didn't know for sure.

The injury really did not occur until a grew older. When I began to understand what had happened. I guess in hindsight ( no pun intended) he never did penetrate me, and in some weird way I am thankful for that. Of course my mom never found out..no one did. In those days you just didn't talk about those kinds of things. They seemed to only bring more shame on the victim rather than the perpetrator. My biggest regret is that I did not tell anyone. Not necessarily because it would have benefited me in any way, but I worry and wonder if Billy went on to molest others. Perhaps even his own kids.

For a long while I danced with the shame of what had happened to me. I wondered if I could have done something different. How I could have avoided the situation. How did I encourage Billy even though our parents left us together for hours in the basement unattended. I blamed myself for the longest time and lived with the shame that maybe I should have said no. I cannot say though that it ever really affected any of my adult relationships. I grew up to lead what I would call a relatively healthy and dedicated heterosexual lifestyle. Certainly nothing I would consider deviant or abnormal.

I have come to terms with what has happened to me over the years. I guess if there was one incredibly unfair side-effect was that I had to always be hyper-alert about my sexual behavior. I was deathly afraid of becoming a statistic by turning around and becoming a molester myself. Fortunately, I never even remotely felt any desire in that direction, but still I think about it and it makes me sad that Billy ever had that kind of power over my life. I wonder though. I wonder how many more there are out there, especially from my time when these things were less inclined to be reported. Why did I write this blog? I am not sure. Maybe because it was on my mind and up until this point in my life I have only ever told three people, and I am sure one does not remember because I only mentioned it in passing. The other was a professional therapist. Now I have told you, and although I have kept my identity anonymous in some small way I feel as if I have told the world., and the more people I can share this with the less power the event has over me

Still I wonder how many of you are out there still holding on to a similar secret. Afraid to tell anyone. Silently letting it possess your thoughts ands perhaps even your life. Allowing it to sit under the surface like a giant rock in a rushing river secretly causing turbulence and rapids above. I suppose if I could do one thing here by my act is encourage you to do the same. If you cannot do it on your own blog, then find a good friend and do it on theirs. Let the Billy's of the world know that we know who they are. That we know what they have done and WE are NOT to blame! We did nothing wrong they did, nor did we encourage them. We are not going to let them have power anymore. That the filth they created is on them and not us.

i don't know if I will ever see Billy again, in fact ,I don't even know what happened to him or his family. I mentioned his name to my mother not to long ago just to see if she has ever heard from his mother. My mother got really upset for some reason, and I never did get an answer. Oh well ..that is another 5 page blog. However, if I ever did run into Billy it would be way too late and certainly impossible to prove what he had done to me, but I know. That's right I know and I all I would have to say to him would be "I know what you did to me. You can deny it all you want, but I know. I forgive you Billy, but someday you are going to have to pay your debts". Then I would walk away and that would be the end of our conversation.

ooops

Sorry for those of you who just received a dashboard update stating I just posted my group post. The scheduler went all wrong and wouldn't schedule - rather it kept posting.

You may now go about your business, continuing reading below if you haven't, there is nothing to see here. (Until later).

Sorry

ok, fine, a quick pic (an outtake) for your inconvenience.

A Hunting We Will Go & Friday Fill-In

This weekend is going to be filled with hunting. My oldest sprout is legally old enough to shoot his own deer this weekend (in my opinion he needs to wait two more years. I do not pull the weight on the hunting decisions though - so I step back, I get up at 5:30, I bundle up

(long underware, camo pants, fleece pants, wic socks, long sleeve shirt, sweater, hubby's sweatshirt, hunting coat, orange vest, hat, and mittens, and heat packs... ahhhh yes, welcome to the Midwest in the middle of November. Ohhhh, that? That is your breath you are seeing. Yes, basically the moisture in your breath is FREEZING as you exhale. You gotta love it!!!!)

I digress...

I tromp out of the house (boots tromp). Drive down the road, walk quietly across the field, crawl up into the stand that looks like a fruit stand - but in the air. Get settled, watch hubby and son get into the hunting mode, and WAIT.......

Wait for sunrise. Wait for a deer to feel the need to move. Wait for a doe to attract a buck. Wait. Wait for the right shot. Wait for the wind to change. Wait. Wait for one with bigger horns. Wait.





1. The last band I saw live was It was a country music fest in my hometown, many bands all weekend. Used to work the event for years.
2. What I look forward to most on Thanksgiving isPumpkin Pie - the whole thing with a tub of whip cream. I am serious - it is the only time of the year I really eat dessert and I eat the whole thing. Don't get in my way!!! (I know, I look like it too - don't I :)
3. My Christmas/holiday shopping is something I don't get carried away with.
4. Thoughts of _____________ fill my head. (Now if I told you that..... oh man, oh man)
5. I wish I could wear a bikini. I wish I would have when I could have. The modesty I was raised with be damned.
6. Bagpipes can be lovely if played correctly. However, they are hardly ever played correctly.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to dropping 1/2 my sprouts at my folks' house and bringing the other two with deer hunting, tomorrow my plans include watching my oldest hunt for the first time and Sunday, I want to sleep and read and watch a ton of movies, but instead... I will be a good hunting wife and do what needs to be done with all things hunting!

HNT - Vegas

Sorry I am late, my computer kept crashing.
Which is why there are few words
(I know really that makes you happy ;)
On with the show:

Here is the one and only pic of the
Halloween costume - amazingly taking
pictures wasn't our first thought
(pictures = evidence )
*wink

Now if you didn't catch the Vegas saga you can catch
part #1 here
and
part #2 here

*click

As you have read
(I know you read it)
I spent a dance or two (or more) on the Coyote Ugly bar...
in the end my skirt ripped.....


Here are the promised pictures
The ending to my Vegas trip

*click

Thank you everyone for joining me
these last few days as I piece the memories
together. It was fun to share.

Don't forget to
check out the
OHNT - you
will find the finale
to my Fire & Ice series.

The ripped skirt and the rest of the story

Alright, pull up a chair - grab a cup of hot tea (fine, cold tea for you southerners) coffee, or cocoa. Sit back, and relax.... here is the rest of the story.

When we had left off my friend and I had secured a VIP pass into Studio 54 for the evening, and had decided to return to Coyote Ugly first knowing that they would have the same drink specials. We figured drink cheap there ($2 draft beer) and then head over to the club. We were at the end of our trip and our money after all. With this plan in mind we went back to the hotel to change our clothes, and find a place to eat too. (Seriously, why do people have to eat? It is such an inconvenience and I don't much enjoy it. If only there were a magic food pill).

Alright - dig the boots back out (but hellll no on the black ones, the flat brown ones would have to do tonight, our fifth night of painful feet) find the other pair of thigh socks I brought with me, a skirt I actually wore on the flight there (it is the end of the trip, last night, I am running out of clothes!) and the shirt I had on already. We were now set.

After eating - this I remember was at a Mexican restaurant in Planet Hollywood (which was good but NOT great) we headed over to C.U. for drinks.

Now here is the fun thing about BFD... she is social - really really social. I don't care if you look half ape-ish or you are the best looking guy in the place, you can be a two ton tilly (as my grandpa used to call girls) or the a Kate Moss waif-like model I will talk to you. Not only will I talk to you, but I will butter up and probably flirt a bit while I am at it. It is me. That is what I do.

Sooooo we are making our way around the place trying to make it to the bar where drinks could be found (four c.u. girls, three bars, only one batender- priorities people! dancing....obviously more important ;) A whiskey/7 later and things were looking up (sorry, I drink beer or whiskey. It is what I learned to drink from my c-boy boyfriend when I was 18) After my friend got her first ($10) margarita down all was well. The drink specials finally started and surprisingly we lost track of time. Everyone became a best friend. It was a party. We never left.... yep, that is right - we never made it to Studio 54. In fact I completely forgot about our plans. Why leave a good party to go into the unknow?

One drink leads to another, all of a sudden my glass is never empty although I am not buying anymore. At some point a whole beer spilled down my front..... well now (wasn't going for the wet t contest) it was a party and we were in the middle of it. My name was lost and I was being called by my home state instead (ooooohhhhkkkkayyyy??) and then - then a c.u. girl took a liking to me (and my friend) I guess because she decided that we were the ones who needed to be on the bar - all the time. Every time I got down she would pull me/us back up.

Now, in a room of 20 somethings this was incredibly flattering. It didn't hurt that I had drank enough that my worries of dancing like a mama had disappeared and I was having fun---> until.....

My skirt ripped.
Here is a pic of when it started ripping
the camera caught the evidence...
oh my oh my!

Shortly after this pic was taken
- luckilyafter I had gotten off the bar-
that little skirt ripped all the way
to the waist band!
Yep- right in half!!!

Thank goodness my friend had pinned the straps of her dress and I was able to steal those pins.
Not sober enough to have the sense to leave, the party continued ripped skirt and all. We made it back to the hotel around 2ish and zonked. I don't even know that pajamas were found that night, my face went unwashed and some time in the night/morn I got up and took my contacts out. I have a picture of myself in the morning and let me tell you - if you put me on the spin cycle I would probably look better than I did that morn'.

All in all my trip was fabulous. A whirlwind of a trip. Exhausting and exhilarating all at the same time. But, Vegas is like an adult Disney World - you could never see or do it all in one trip, and there is always a reason to return. But, next time, if there is one.... I think I am going to plan on parking my butt on a beach in Florida or California, or Mexico, or Cozumel.... yeah something not quite as exhausting :)

There will be more pics from the C.U. bar tonight for HNT -
me on the bar,
the end result of the skirt
things worth coming back for
(I hope).

c.u. bar pics from
google image search

TMI Tuesday, and I overslept !!!

I totally forgot that it was Tuesday. Which meant TMI, and TFT...
I woke at my normal God awful time to get my family out the door with smiles, love, hugs, kisses, and coffee (hubby). For the first time since I can remember I crawled back into bed. Not only that, but, I fell asleep. I have one child left at home and being the fourth child he is fiercely independent. Therefore he awoke, turned on the t.v. and played with his birthday present HotWheels set. After a bit he got hungry apparantly as there was a box of animal crackers out and an empty yogurt container on a stool in front of the t.v. I all the while snoozed, and had wierd fall back asleep dreams.

I woke up at 8am. Now today I was suppose to leave the house by 8:15 to get this sprout to pre-school. Yeah.... we were gonna be late. Needless to say - this threw off my whole day. Oh well. It is still Tuesday where I live so....

Don't forget to check out TFT - some of you really like the pic when it was a hnt post, you can see it again over there - plus it is Veteran's Day on Wednesday - what better way to show your support.

Next TMI Tuesday....

1. I lost my virginity at 18, in the back of a car, on prom night. Where and when did you lose yours?

I had just turned 18. It was in my boyfriends Ford pickup, in a back field after a rodeo (I told you I am/was small town)

2. I think my ass is my best sexual feature. What is yours?

My eyes, at least that is what I am told. (I totally think that can be sexual. right?)

3. A recurring theme in my fantasies is being slammed up against the wall. Do you have a recurring fantasy or a theme to your fantasies?

Public places seem to keep coming up in my mind.

4. I love watching guys masturbate. Do you enjoy watching others (a partner or a stranger) masturbate?

If I had 30 minutes to fit in what I really desired it wouldn't come into play.
But it can add to an evening for sure.

5. I hate when guys are quiet in bed. I like to hear you moaning as you cum. Do you like you partners quiet? Are you quiet?

I have been bugging my hubby about this lately (ohhhh he will kill me for spilling) But, no, I don't like quiet- am tired of it. I want some feedback. It was Sadie who first mentioned this (or where I first read and thought about it) this summer... ever since then I have done some encouraging. It is getting better ;)

6. I love playing with nipples. Do you love having your nipples played with?

Apparently I do?! Who knew. This is a new thing for me. I used to hate it. Not so much anymore. In fact not so long ago that is all it took to almost put me over the edge...

7. My ‘number’ is between 15 and 25. What is your 'number'?

You know what?????? I really really really do not know. Honestly. I used to keep a running in my head during college - I really had this whole AIDS worry thing going on (even though I was safe). But I have forgotten since then and while I want to say that it is between 7-10... I can't remember for sure. (amazing how the mind can have selective memory) I kind of remember freaking out when it was more then 'a handful' but I can't recall now if that was 1 handful or 2 ??? so 5 or 10 at the time???? sigh... I don't know. sorry.

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Alright more tomorrow and HNT on my trip to Vegas and then I will get off from the subject. 'stay tuned'